“Most of us pass our lives away eating the husks of life. Within them, beneath the rind, is a sweeter fruit than ever we have tasted. How shall we find it unless the rind is peeled away by Wisdom greater than our own, by a Love whose ways are strange and bewildering to us.”- St. Therese of Lisieux
Sorry I’ve been MIA lately, but I’ve been so distracted recently. I know that’s not a good excuse, but I’ve been really out of sorts. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m just going through life on autopilot. You know that feeling when you drove somewhere and once you get there, you’re like “how did I get here?” and you don’t even remember driving? (Please tell me that has happened to you and that i’m not crazy). I feel like I’m just going through the motions and living live thoughtlessly. I’ve been feeling spiritually lazy lately, and I’ve been trying to find a way to get out of this.
As St. Therese said, most of us pass our lives away eating the husks of life. Not going to lie, I’ve been snacking on those husks for a while now. I feel like I’m in a spiritual rut and that I’ve been “too busy” or “too tired” to do the things that are necessary for building up my relationship with God. That husk we all seem to stop at is the rough, tasteless, and unsatisfying part of the fruit. I feel like I’ve been settling for that, and I know I shouldn’t be. Instead, we need to keep peeling away that husk and work to get to that fruit that we desire. That rind we need to peel back can only be peeled by the Wisdom that God bestows on us, so without Him, we’re stuck with those husks. Once you taste the fruit, you’ll never want those husks again.
Recently, I’ve been feeling a bit better, but there are obviously days harder than others. I haven’t been sleeping at all, which has been making each day harder and harder. My biggest mistake has been instead of turning to God for healing and strength, I’ve just been blaming everything on being tired and being stuck with those “husks of life.” (which is usually just an absurd amount of coffee). I want God to work through me, but how can He work through me if I won’t put the work in? I tend to try to do everything at once and make drastic changed, but I need to just take each day moment by moment.
My Little Way 